Time to get things off our collective chests!

Contained here is an ever increasing number of rants aimed at practically everything that have ever either slightly annoyed or really irritated us: the somewhat trivial things in everyday life that have managed to get under our skin and made us want to scream (at the very least).

Top Ten People who most need a damn good slap.

1a) (New entry) Lee Bowyer

1) Alex Ferguson

2) Liam Gallagher

3) (New entry) The AOL woman

4) (New entry) Jamie Oliver

5) Eminem

6) Tony Blair

7) Roy Keane

8) Anthea Turner

9) Michael Barrymore

10) The cast of Friends 

Post Christmas Adverts

Part ii - Start collecting now as this weekly magazine builds into a
indispensable guide to everything you wanted to know about Bathroom Tile
Stencilling or whatever. First issue only 99p with free Ring Binder /
Bathroom Tile Stencil / Useless accessory. Get a life! If you want to know
that badly buy a book! The worst ones are those aimed at kids as who can
work on their parents to buy the magazine, and those aimed at Computer
Novices. Just think on this - if it takes a year to collect all the parts,
chances are you will either have figured it out for yourself or got bored or
found your PC is out of date. Anyway all you need is to know how to load
games!

Rant from Paul

Novelty Christmas records

Arrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rant from Paul

Old people in new cars

Why do old people always drive brand new sports cars with huge spoilers on them?

WHY???
 
And what makes matters worse is that they don't even drive their brand new cars properly do they? They never go over the speed limit, in fact they usually toodle along 5mph under without realising that they're causing a ten-mile on a busy road. They're even more  infuriating when you are stuck behind them on a country lane or single carriageway. 
 
And when they drive in their nice NEW cars on the motorway, they sit in the middle lane doing 60mph, not realising that the center lane is for overtaking not cruising! 

And come to think of it, why oh why do they have orthopedic supports in their cars, it's not as if at 70yrs olds are suddenly going to develop back problems is it? 

I know they fought for me in a war, and maybe I shouldn't be too harsh, but old drivers deserve it. STAY OFF OUR ROADS!

Rant from Martin

Old people in any cars

It's not just old people in their flashy new cars who deserve a rant - it's all the old drivers on our roads who CANNOT DRIVE PROPERLY!

I don't know what annoys me the most...

Perhaps it's the way they always sit,  peering just over the top of their steering wheels trying to get as close to the windscreen as possible. And have you noticed that they always look as if they're about to nod off?

Or because they drive too slowly...

Or because they take forever to park a car... (especially in a multi-story)

Or because if you happen to get stuck behind one when you're at a roundabout, they seem to wait until the road is totally clear before they move.

And is it me, or do they seem to forget which pedal is the accelerator?

The trouble is that a lot of them are so old, they never had to pass their tests so is it any wonder they're so bad?

I reckon all old people should be re-tested, NOW!

In fact, a system of travel should be developed JUST FOR WRINKLEES... oh, they have done, haven't they! - It's called public transport!

GET ON A BUS YOU OLD, INCAPABLE DRIVERS! AND STAY OFF OUR ROADS!

Rant from Geoff (with Martin nodding is agreement)

BBC2

I'm sure I speak for a great many people when I say the following words:
Why is it that the chiefs at BBC2 believe that the British public are more interested in snooker than they are in programmes such as Buff the Vampire Slayer and any number of Star Trek shows????  I've lost count the number of times I've got in from work, put on the TV to watch one of my favourite programmes only to find that some berk has postponed it and replaced it with one of the dullest sports on Earth.

WHEN WILL THESE PEOPLE LEARN???????? 

WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN SNOOKER OR ANY OTHER SECOND RATE SPORT, FOR THAT MATTER. JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE MANAGED TO BUY THE RIGHTS FOR IT DOESN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT WE WANT TO SEE IT. 
DON'T CANCEL BUFFY AGAIN!

Those dodgy Insurance company adverts

Just how annoying are they?

I don't know what gets me the most: The fact that they are on ALL THE TIME making them impossible to escape from, the smug 'serious' presenter, or the fact that they are ruining society as we know it.

I mean, they are turning us  into a nation of 'people who are not willing to accept responsibility for our own mistakes'. I'm sure you know what I mean - just imaging the advert in your head:

Mrs. Thick McStupid was walking along her street when she bumped into the lamppost by the road side that she said 'JUMPED OUT AT HER'.
We successfully sued the council for dangerous placement of a lamppost and Mrs. Thick McStupid was given a cheque payment for twenty thousand pounds!
So if you have an accident and can blame someone even though it's not their fault, ring us and make a mint.

These companies are SCUM!

That woman from the 'AOL' adverts 

What do we really need to say?

She is just soooooooooo annoying - with her smarmy, smiley face, her stupid plasticy hairdo and her patronising voice.
We are willing to bet good money that she knows absolutely nothing about computers.
Oh just shut up and log off  you VERY ANNOYING WOMAN!

(As an extra insult Kat said that she is a modern version of the 'Shake'n'Vac' lady - how bad is THAT?)

Rant from Geoff and Paul

SMUDGE ALEX 
(You know you want to.)

All you have to do is click on his incredibly annoying face and drag his features around.

(If you're lucky, you might be able to make him smile!!!)